A Woman's Work

Someone once said a woman’s work is never done.

Someone said that good woman is either underpaid or unpaid for all the work that she does…that a woman who loves her family and lives a simple life is boring or repetitious…unfun and mundane.

I flip through the magazines and I am lead to believe that what we look like is more important than the work that we do…I turn on the t.v. and am left with the notion that if a woman is raped then somehow its her fault and if a woman is beaten she somehow provoked it…

And if we raise our voices we’re angry Black women and if we have lots of sisterfriends we must be gay …if we ask the doctor too many questions we’re a nag and neurotic when we really just want answers and if we’re single and sold out for Christ its because we couldn’t get a “real” man and if we have personal standards we’re selfish and pushy and if we stand up for ourselves we’re aggressive and non-submissive and unlady-like but if we don’t stand up for ourselves we’re typical weak females and if we desire to be married with children we’re looking to trap a man but if we don’t we’re unnaturally feminist…

Women today are still searching for spiritual peace and elevation. We are uber-aware of our hunger and need, but many of us are still in search of what will satisfy this need. In every aspect of our lives, from church to child-rearing, we are more prone to draining our creative springs than to replenishing them. With our great pitcher of water in hand, we attempt to water entire fields as opposed to our own back yards. Instead of slowing down the axis of our inner wheel, we throw ourselves indiscriminately and without pause into committees and causes. Because we do not know how to calm our spirit, we try to muffle its demands in countless distractions that lay at our fingertips.

As a spiritual guide to women clients, I find more times than not that many of us feel trapped subconsciously by our circumstances and situations. I find that when I suggest meditation to my clients, more times than not I am met with a million and one excuses as to why taking the time to find one’s inner Garden of Gethsemane is rarely a conscious priority next to cooking or scandal or Empire...

Many of us feel that life has dealt us a hand and the only option we have is to sit in one place and ride it out. In earlier times women had in their lives more spiritual recipes and ritualistic practices which centered them whether or not they realized it. There were certain things that were inherently passed down to our sisters of old, both consciously as well as subconsciously, that kept them pressing towards the mark. Our foremothers possessed a certain je ne sai quoi about them that was self-sustaining and deeply spiritual. Our Mother’s mothers and their mothers understood that seclusion in the home gave them time alone.

I remember the subtle movements of my mother’s mother around her home…long before the modern mechanization of housework, our foremothers understood that their domestic and familial duties were conducive to a quiet contemplative drawing together of the self. My foremothers understood that nothing feeds our center as much as creative spiritual work. To them creative work was spiritual work, for the handi work of the woman is pleasing to God. Let us consider what the Bible describes as the virtuous woman. In the 31^st chapter of proverbs, the 13^th verse, The bible uses the following imagery to describe her:

“She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.”

The art and craft of housework has been greatly diminished…

The contemplative moments while baking bread…The candid thoughts of yesteryear as we can the preserves…the colorful kaleidoscope of emotions that dance through our minds as we sew the curtains…as we sing a lullabye to the children…as we wash and dry the dinner dishes…as we arrange a bowl of flowers…as we prepare breakfast at the kiss of dawn for our families…

For many of us these domestic tasks provided a sense of quiet in a crowded day…like writing a letter or saying a prayer. They were times that gave us an excuse to be inwardly attentive.

We currently live in a society in which every trend, every pressure and relatively every aspect of our external world seems to be against the power of inward living…that is, living  from the inside out as opposed to from the outside in. Women of faith are the pioneers of this inward living for strength…mainly because the nature of our deep-seated spiritual convictions force us to look inward. Women of faith understand that looking inward builds the kind of inner strength and courage that the world, in it’s superfluous external pursuit of happiness, cannot find…for the woman of faith knows that the Kingdom of Heaven is within.

From time to time I’ll have a client to liken their current existence to a prison sentence…often feeling like the active years of the 30’s, 40’s and/or 50’s have been long outlived. So much sacrifice, and in the midst of raising children, caring for elderly parents, our aging bodies, losing loved ones and all the other growing pains of life, some of us have grown restless in our respective journeys. Some of us feel emotionally stuck in our efforts to remain whole in the midst of distractions…psychologically bound in our efforts to find balance regardless of the external forces that tend to knock us off center…and an even greater number of women tend to feel like they’re in solitary confinement…despite the fact that they are never really alone, they feel lonely…often misunderstood beneath a web of insurmountable, never-ending responsibilities.  I am no stranger to these dips, valleys and cul de sacs of life…and some of my greatest lessons, epiphanies and revelations I have found here. 
Meditate with me...

Meditation for Busy People

"By meditation upon light and upon radiance, 

knowledge of the spirit can be reached 

and peace can be achieved."

Patanjali, 300B.C.

• Change into loose,comfy clothing so that your sitting is not restricted in any way
• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
• Sit comfy on the ground, with your legs outstretched or crossed
• Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing each part of your body
• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• Breathe in through your nose (if possible) and out through your mouth, making an "Ohhh"or "Ahhh"sound as you exhale.
• Once your breathing is regulated, channel your attention towards your thoughts and feelings. Let them roam free for a while in your mind, 1 to 2 minutes.
• Next, capture your thoughts and move them to the outer space of your mind. This is called "Clear Your Canvas" meditation. 
• Expeditiously push all thoughts that race for the center of your mind to the outer edges, far left/far right,etc.
• Try to focus on your clear canvas, that is, the pure space in the center of your mind, entertaining no thoughts that try to invade that space.
• Keeping calm and still, continue this exercise daily until it becomes easier to reach your clear canvas. When you can sit amidst your clear canvas for 5 minutes or more, you are ready for guided meditation. ("Clear Your Canvas & Guided Meditations" tutorials coming soon.)
• Advanced Students: If you are already able to clear your canvas within a minute and sit within your clear canvas for at least 5 minutes, then choose a color for your canvas and create something in the ethereal space. Here, I often create my "To do" list for the week, "research" my next creative project, write a song/poem,or simply hold my peace for up to 15 to 20 minutes in the quiet.

Kreative Pilar

Sisters, Let Us Unite!

I am so tired of hearing my sisters boast that they "don't mess with other women." More than half of the women I come in contact with in various social settings LOVE to tout their inability to get along with other women. Since when did this become the new normal? And at what cost?  Hmmmm....perhaps this is the addendum to Willie Lynch's letter...arguably one of the most heinous crimes on paper against the African Peoples of the Diaspora to date. Perhaps in the section entitled "The breaking process of the African woman" in which WLynch  breaks down how the male image must be damaged and destroyed so that the female feels alone and unprotected...emotionally frozen and stuck in a psychological state of independence, a footnote was added that explained the importance of destroying female relationships as well. Perhaps by destroying any possibility of true love between the male and the female, the female is forced to acculturate into a male-dominated society thus taking on the characteristics of the new misogynistic male. Henceforth, a misogynistic female, or a female who hates her own feminine counterparts, is as unnatural and detrimental to the healthy advancement of mankind as is a misogynistic male. When one sister encounters another sister, beauty is reflected. For a woman to employ a general attitude of dislike for other women implies a serious imbalance. There are many confounding factors at play here and a multitude of deep-seated underlying issues that affect a woman's ability to connect with her sisters.  More often than not, I have observed, these issues stem from childhood. Mothers often underestimate the impact that their words can have on their delicate offspring. From overly critical ridicule and judgment  to feelings of inadequacy and shame, when a woman proudly boasts that she cant stand other women, you can rest assured that there are deeper emotional blockages that lay just beneath the surface. Women's societies and circles have been an important part of indigenous cultures since the beginning of time. The very prevalent absence of this sentiment among many women today is a sign of the times that I hope to help eradicate. When we truly love ourselves, we can love our fellow sisters (and brothers). When we can affirm ourselves, we can affirm other sisters. The "crab in the bottom of the barrel" syndrome that I have witnessed all too often among my sisters is disheartening and I pray that those sisters who think its cool find their way to this self-affirming meditation:

Affirmation Meditation

• Change into loose,comfy clothing so that your sitting is not restricted in any way
• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
• Sit comfy on the ground, with your legs outstretched or crossed
• Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing each part of your body
• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• After 2 to 5 minutes relaxed breathingk, channel your attention towards your thoughts and feelings. Let them roam free for a while in your mind, 1 to 2 minutes.
• Next, capture your thoughts and move them to the outer space of your mind. This is called "Clear Your Canvas" meditation. 
• Expeditiously push all thoughts that race for the center of your mind to the outer edges, far left/far right,etc.
• Try to focus on your clear canvas, that is, the pure space in the center of your mind, entertaining no thoughts that try to invade that space.
• Now focus on healing. What does healing mean to you? What thoughts come into your mind when you think on the word HEALING? 
• If there are any people, places or things that come into your mind that have caused you pain, allow them to gather in the center of your mind. 
• Hold them in place there letting nothing leave. 
• Chant to yourself or aloud, "I am love. I give love. I receive love. I am Love.
• As you affirm yourself, pour pure white light into the center of your mind. The more pure white light you send, the more that bundle of hurt begins to erase from your mind. 
• Keep chanting. Feel the Divine love. Keep pouring pure white light into your mind until the space is clear and there is nothing there but your canvas. Feel the victory of letting go.
• With a clear mind, continue to affirm yourself using words of your choice. i.e., "I am beautiful"..."We are, therefore I am."..."I am powerful", etc.
• Keeping calm and still, continue this exercise as often as your busy schedule will allow.

Peace Be Unto You.

                                                                                                                                                                                            

Guided Grounding Meditation

Guided Grounding Meditation

Find a comfortable space to sit in for at least 15 minutes. 

Allow your eyes to resonate within the peaceful tone of this picture.

Observe everything in it.

Look at her eyes, the eyes of the spiritual mother, the Great Mother.

Rest your eyes at the top of her forehead.

Envision yourself standing at the top of the white line.

Now walk down the white line and stand in the center of her chin. 

Leap from her chin into the center of the large bubble above her head.

You have entered the bubble of past memories. 

Stand in your past. Think about how you feel.

Run and leap into the second bubble, the bubble of present life.

Stand in the present now. Think about how you feel in this current paradigm.

Take the quick jump into the bubble of future manifestation.

Stand in your future. What does it look like? How do you feel? Are you content or anxious?

Suddenly a beautiful Sankofa Bird with big, beautiful wings comes and carries you off into the birth of your next life. You are a new person/being. What is the first thing you see? 

(I saw yellow flowers the first time, in a window!)

Open your eyes and journal your experience. Just write about your experience, create a poem or get super creative and paint/draw it.

Peace Be With You.

Meditate on Peace

Emotions seem to make us nuts, dont they? All over the friggin place...from happenstance to happenstance, it seems that we can go from 0 to 10 in the blink of an eye depending on the issue (and what sign you are astrologically;-)). The crazy thing is that with all of this emotion comes a myriad of physical responses. Emotions are forms of energy that run throughout our bodies like electrical currents. Each emotion has a frequency of its own and this is where things get real. The most common (and DEADLY) emotions such as Anger and fear resonate at the same frequency as the color red. The root Chakra (genitalia) also resonates at this frequency. Love, however, resonates at the same frequency as ultra-violet light.  It is the highest visible frequency; the third eye Chakra spins at this high frequency as well.
We must carefully watch these emotionally charged electrical currents because they travel along our neural pathways and trigger the release of chemical proteins called neuropeptides (Np). Each Np controls different physiological functions within our body. From Oxytocin & Adrenalin...to various hormones & endorphines, everything we think and feel has the potential to physically help or harm us. For example, joy, orgasms, happiness and laughter cause the release of endorphins, or powerful opiates that make us feel good. Such feelings are extremely helpful because they help boost our immune system, relax muscles, elevate our mood and decrease pain.
Fear, anxiety and stress, on the other hand, release adrenalin, cortisol & norepinephrine. These Nps cause the heart to race, blood vessels to dilate and muscle to tighten. When we feel these kinds of emotions, it is important to find the time to meditate and sort through them. We must positively channel these powerful electrical currents and turn the negative energy into positive energy. Focus on your energy.

 

The Beginner's Mind Meditation
(Clear Your Canvas)

"By meditation upon light and upon radiance, 

knowledge of the spirit can be reached 

and peace can be achieved."

Patanjali, 300B.C.

• Change into loose,comfy clothing so that your sitting is not restricted in any way
• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
• Sit comfy on the ground, with your legs outstretched or crossed
• Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing each part of your body
• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• Breathe in through your nose (if possible) and out through your mouth, making an "Ohhh"or "Ahhh"sound as you exhale.
• Once your breathing is regulated, channel your attention towards your thoughts and feelings. Let them roam free for a while in your mind, 1 to 2 minutes.
• Next, capture your thoughts and move them to the outer space of your mind. This is called "Clear Your Canvas" meditation. 
• Expeditiously push all thoughts that race for the center of your mind to the outer edges, far left/far right,etc.
• Try to focus on your clear canvas, that is, the pure space in the center of your mind, entertaining no thoughts that try to invade that space.
• Keeping calm and still, continue this exercise for 2 to 5 minutes. 
• Once you reach your calm space, begin to envision a circle. Look through the circle and around the circle. Write the words,"I AM PEACE" inside of the circle. Focus and meditate on these words for as long as you feel led to. If the words try to fade or disappear, re-write them. Let nothing enter into your mind accept for this mantra.
• When you are done, give thanks to God, the Universe and the Ancestors and close out/seal your prayers with "Amen," "So shall it be,"  "Ase," or the equivalent.

Peace be unto you.

What Kind of Seed Are You?

A Ready Mind is Fruitful Soil

Follow me.

The peaceful prophet Jesus...he walked out of the home where He was residing and sat by the sea. People came searching from near and far; great multitudes were gathered together at His feet. There were so many people in fact, that the Prophet Jesus got into a boat and sat down while the multitudes stood and waited graciously on the shore. Imagine...knowing all that He knows...what his thoughts might have been as He observed the individual faces in the crowd. Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow.  And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.Then the Prophet Jesus responded with a loud voice saying, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”
What Wisdom lies in this parable...one of my favorite in regards to understanding my spirituality. "What kind of seed am I?" I remember asking myself this at the beginning of my current journey which began some 25 years ago. Smile...even now I ask myself at least once a week. This self inquiry is more rhetorical than anything; asking myself questions periodically is a "checks & balance" ritual for me. It is more a need to remain in touch with myself  than a search for a literal answer more times than not. Within a misguided, gravely distracted society, this ritual forces me to constantly assess my relationship with my source, and essentially, my self.
WHAT KIND OF SEED AM I? (Meditate on this using the exercise from February 19th).

The Seed represents my direct relationship with God. Scripture explains this parable as follows:
"When anyone hears the word of the kingdom, and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who received seed by the wayside. But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles. Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful, But he who received seed on the fertile ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundred fold, some sixty, some thirty.

WHAT KIND OF SEED ARE YOU?
Think back over your life and write your thoughts in your journal. 

When you encounter lessons and/or spiritual wisdom, do you HEAR? We must be willing and open to receive universal instruction in a manner that parallels the way that good soil receives seed (spirituality/Wisdom/Scripture). This is the key to producing fruit or manifestation. Even still, it is not enough to just hear; the work does not stop there. Many humans deceive themselves, thinking that hearing is all that they have to do. They say, "I go to Church so I am spiritual" or "I heard it on television so I understand." We must drink deeply from our spiritual cup...those things we cannot see, but hope for and aspire to. We must work daily to apply the wisdom we acquire to every aspect of our lives, keeping in mind what kind of seed we actually are. Knowing our own natural proclivities is very important. God intends for those called to be Master Teachers to step up and walk in our Destiny. James, the stepbrother to Prophet Jesus, in chapter 3:1 says that not many of us should become teachers because those of us who teach will be judged more strictly. But what if you ARE a Master Teacher? How will you ever know if you don't sit still long enough to know who you are? Now meditate on that.

Peace.

Afterthought on the Afterlife

So many of us ponder what happens after we part this earthly realm. Philosophers have been thinking on this since the earliest civilizations. I often wonder myself...although I must admit that I have my own tried and true belief system well intact. God and His Universe...the heavens and the earth...The Orisa as well as the Ancestors...all things work in tandem to provide us experiences that reveal the keys to not only ourselves, but to the great mysteries of life. God is perfect, and created us in His perfect image. If these things are true then we must regard the various cultures of the world as a part of such beautiful perfection...handcrafted by God Himself. Therefore, we should not judge or regard another's belief system in a derogatory manner when we do not share the same school of thought. Instead, we should say, "That is where that person's experiences has lead them to." That is not to say that the person doesn't need some assistance or guidance along their path. It is simply important to remember that our thoughts and words carry life and/or death. Our words and thoughts are either life-producing or death-inducing. Choose life.
Cultural overlap on earth allows tradition and ritual practices to blend and feed into one another. If we spent more time honoring the "process," that is, the individual journey. oh what beautiful revelations we would encounter! So much to be learned and appreciated. As a Spiritualist and Teacher, I have gained priceless wisdom along my path in quiet reverance of the universal process of seeking and finding. I am particularly interested in the things that happen the moment we leave this earthly realm. Some of the most popular transitional destinations I have come across in my studies are as follows:

• Paradise: The place that Jesus ascended to following his death. A perfect waiting place. 
• Purgatory: The realm of lost souls and departed spirits
• Heaven: Your soul immediately returns to God. A timeless state. 
• Transcendence: Your soul is returned to the Great Mind state, rejoining the sea of consciousness from which it came.
• Awakening: Your soul arrives in pure light. Having shed the physical body, we see truth with acute clarity for the first time.
• Transmigration (Also referred by some as purgatory): The soul is caught up in the cycles of rebirth. Depending on your Karma, your soul returns to earth in a better or worse. higher or lower form.

The Akasha itself, or the source of consciousness and creativity, is the highest state of the soul's journey. It is translated into one of the aforementioned categories of consciousness respectively, depending on who you ask and/or what part of the earth you're in. The common assumption is that no one really knows what happens after we die...but I do not believe this, per se. I believe this knowledge is attainable...I personally believe that I have attained this wisdom indeed. The teachings of Prophet Jesus say that if we seek, we will find. We receive not because we do not ask, and when we do, we ask amiss. Truly, the answers to the questions we wonder everyday are right beneath our nose. We just fail to look hard enough,

Visual Meditation Video

Excellent Visual Meditation Video

It's visual story invokes 

indigenous inspiration within my spirit.

Color Journey Meditation

Please take off your shoes, leave your worries at the door. Come on in and find a comfy place to sit or lay. Find your inner still...that quiet place and close your eyes:

• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• Breathe in through your nose (if possible) and out through your mouth, making an "Ohhh"or "Ahhh"sound as you exhale.
• Once your breathing is regulated, allow your body to relax and your mind to focus on the calming colors of the rainbow.
• Allow the relaxation to occur naturally...allow and relax into the still energy.
• Create a picture in your mind of the color red.
• Imagine red of all shades....
• You might picture red objects, a red landscape, or just a solid color.....
• Imagine all of the different tones of red.... roses.... bricks.... apples....sunset....
• Enjoy the color red for some moments.
• Now allow the color you are imagining to change to orange. Picture the color orange.... infinite shades of orange.... flowers.... pumpkins .... carrots....
• Fill the entire visual field of your mind's eye with the color orange.
• Enjoy the color orange.
• Visualize the color yellow. See in your imagination all the various shades of yellow. Allow yellow to fill your vision.... lemons.... flowers....birds...fall leaves...
• Imagine the endless tones of the color yellow. Imagine yourself surrounded with the calming color yellow..... Immerse yourself....swim, lay, sit in it...
• Enjoy the color yellow.
• Let the color you are imagining become green. Fill your imagination with the color green. Endless shades and tones of green.... plants.... leaves.... grass....
• Imagine being surrounded by beautiful green..... all shades from the lightest to the darkest, bright green.... subdued green...
• Enjoy green.
• Now see in your mind the color blue. Surround yourself with beautiful blue.... Unending shades of blue..... water....sky....
• Imagine blue filling your vision.....
• Enjoy the color blue.
• Allow the color in your imagination to become violet..... Focus on the multitude of purples around you.... flowers....eggplant....sunrise....
• Immerse yourself in the color violet....
• Enjoy violet.
• Now allow your attention to return to your breathing..... notice how calm and regular your breathing is now.....
• Meditate on the calming color relaxation once more....
• Imagine the colors again, one at a time.... starting with red....
• Orange....
• Yellow....
• Green.....
• Blue.....
• Violet.....
• Now picture whatever calming color you wish. Do you have a favorite? Or a color that suits your mood right now? Imagine whatever colors you like. Allow your mind to be relaxed, focused, and calm...
• Enjoy the feeling of relaxation you are experiencing.
• Now it is time to return your attention to your regular activities.
• Stay in your new calm and let your calm "color" the rest of your day.
• Be aware of your surroundings....
• Stretch your muscles...open your eyes. Enjoy.

Peace Be Unto You.

Quotes I Love

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."       ~'When Harry Met Sally'

Motherhood: A Rite of Passage

The act of giving birth is more than the pains and throes of a woman in parturition. It is a rite of passage from one existence into the next that every human being who enters into the earth must experience.  I was first taught this years ago by my beloved godmother. I remember sitting at her feet beside the fireplace as she schooled  me on the deeper things in life. She would rock back and forth in her rocking chair in meditative contemplation. “Awodola,” she would call me, “ As the Iyanla, or woman of the house, it is important that you maintain your shrines daily and take care of your ancestors,  for one day they will come back through you and your children.” I never forgot her words…that moment in time galvanized my way of thinking forever. I was the single mother of a male child who I brought into this world with a vengeance. I traded in my sailor hat for a mommy hat while serving overseas in the United States Navy.  It seemed as though the entire world was against me; loved ones expressing their disappointment and sharing with me all of my “options”…completely oblivious to my joy and amazement over the gift in my belly.  I was with child and at total peace with it. By no stretch of the imagination was my pregnancy an act of immaculate conception, but at moments I understood what Mary must have felt when she had to convince her husband Joseph and the rest of their community that her pregnancy was a divine occasion. The looks…the stares…the commentary…the disbelief…and no one but God himself can truly understand what you feel inside.

 The women in my life became rocks upon which I was able to lean when the fierce winds of change blew me completely out of the water. Two in particular, my mother and godmother, were angels sent to me from the heavens like gifts sent to Perseus from Zeus to help him survive the wiles of Calibos. My birth mother taught me how to thrive in the physical realm. By her example I learned the ways of the Lioness; I learned to hunt, gather, keep my head above the current, work hard, and sacrifice. My godmother taught me how to thrive in keeping with the spiritual realm. By her example I learned how to pray, meditate, be content, acknowledge God always, respect my elders and know that there is no such thing as coincidence.  In time, following my incubation period under the tutelage of the “great mothers,” God sent me a husband. My nest was expanding. I had brought forth one ancestor already in the form of numberoneson Christopher, and before long came another in the form of my beautiful daughter Vashti.  

Now clad with a husband and two children, I found myself in another fireside chat with my godmother. To my amazement she informed me that I needed to add my maternal grandfather to my ancestral alter, for he would come back through my next child. “Well that’s jacked up to all hell!” I thought to myself.  I hadn’t added him to my alter because frankly I didn’t care for him while he was alive. He was a mean man at times and angry at the world…Ebeneezer Scrooge times 10.  Interestingly, my maternal grandmother is my spirit guide and the dominant energy on my prayer alter. Because I wasn’t planning on having any more children I dismissed these things my godmother said to me about my grandfather. In keeping with the culture, however, I did add him to my alter right beside my Nana and thought nothing else about it. Well, as the universe would have it, two months later on my daughter’s 8-month birthday my husband expressed to me his desire for a third child…and one month later I was pregnant.

 My godmother told me some time ago that my karma in this life was such that all of my children would hail from my own bloodline, not their fathers. I thought about this often throughout my nine month pilgrimage. This pregnancy was the most “chill” of all, choc full of epiphanies and visions about my family and my ancestors. I was obsessed with old photographs of relatives and who they were and how they lived. I knew that my first two children were my ancestors come back but I did not know which ancestors. So I searched for and interviewed family members to decipher whose personalities matched my children’s the most. But THIS baby…this baby baking in my belly fascinated me so because for the first time I actually knew who he was. Not only did I know, but this soul had actually been my grandfather in his past life and I didn’t always dislike him; before I became pregnant with numberoneson we were very close.  It was his disdain over my unwed pregnancy that drove us apart. How ironic that he should come back through me. For the first time I understood what was meant by the euphemism, “The universe has a sense of humor.”

Upon Baby Ayden’s birth, the first thing I noticed was his color. One year into his life he was still several shades lighter than both my husband and I; a beautiful caramel pecan, the exact shade of my grandfather.  “But Africans come in all shades so surely,” I thought to myself, “this is no real indication of reincarnation.” At age 3, I sat an old washed out military photograph of my grandfather in front of Ayden one evening during dinner time.  I told the rest of the family not to say a word. Within minutes after observing the man in the picture Ayden blurted out, “That’s ME mommy!” as he pointed knowingly to my grandfather.  By age 4 Ayden was in speech therapy twice a week for a severe stutter.  After 3 years we grew to love this adorable characteristic of his and after little improvement, he grew tired of therapy so we removed him…and besides, my grandfather stuttered his entire life so Ayden’s stutter was probably more of a tattoo on the soul than a speech impediment…

By age 6 the icing on the cake for my mother and I was when we realized that Ayden didn’t really enjoy sweets like other children and that he had to have raisin bran every morn for breakfast.  He would take 3 licks from a lollipop and give it back, 2 bites out of a piece of gum before spitting it out and throw a tantrum  refusing to eat breakfast if we ran out of raisin bran. Well not only was my grandfather averse to sweets and junk food, but as far back as my young mind can stretch, I watched my grandfather eat raisin bran cereal for breakfast every morning.

Knowledge is power, and in my research I found that my grandfather had a very difficult life.  People who are hurt, hurt other people and this experience gave me a sense of peace and closure regarding my damaged relationship with my grandfather. In turn, I realized that in his new life as Ayden Reed my grandfather would receive all the love and attention to make up for the karma from his past life as George Cole.  A clean slate, so to speak. And deep in my soul I know beyond a shadow of doubt that my grandfather’s spirit communicated with me to let me know he was at peace in his new “situation.” As the universe would have it, one cold winter evening as my family sat quietly enjoying some delicious homemade chilli , Ayden’s favorite, I had a de ja vu experience that shook me to the core and sealed the nail in the coffin (no pun intended). If ever I doubted my godmother’s words, there was not a trace of doubt left in my mind at this point. My grandfather loved good food, and whenever my Nana would cook his favorite meal he would close his eyes, rub his head and hum softly as he ate.  As I sat at my dinner table words cannot express the calm that came over me as I listened to my son hum a familiar tune that sent me spiraling back to my Nana’s dinner table. I looked over at Ayden as he leaned over his bowl, gently caressing the crown of his head with one hand and eating with his other, just like my grandfather used to do. I smiled. We all smiled as Ayden continued to hum ever so sweetly a tune that would nevefr again allow me to forget the fact that the act of giving birth is more than the pains and throes of a woman in parturition. It is a rite of passage from one existence into the next that every human being who enters into the earth must experience. And in the unspoken presence of energies past, present and future, my understanding of the role of a mother changed forever.

On Love by Kahlil Gibran

My favorite Love Poem of all Time...

      Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love." 

      And he raised his head and looked upon the people,

and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said: 

      When love beckons to you follow him, 

      Though his ways are hard and steep. 

      And when his wings enfold you yield to him, 

      Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, 

      Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. 

      For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.

Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. 

      Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, 

      So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. 

      He threshes you to make you naked. 

      He sifts you to free you from your husks. 

      He grinds you to whiteness. 

      He kneads you until you are pliant; 

      And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast. 

      All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. 

      But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, 

      Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, 

      Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. 

      Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. 

      Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God." 

      And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. 

      Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. 

      But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: 

      To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. 

      To know the pain of too much tenderness. 

      To be wounded by your own understanding of love; 

      And to bleed willingly and joyfully. 

      To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; 

      To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; 

      To return home at eventide with gratitude; 

      And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. 

Channeling Your Emotions

Thoughts and emotions are closely connected. Depending on our mood, the words we speak can spiral our personal realities out of control - often times unbeknownst to the individual. So many of us are wound tight and ready to react immediately. No good...and knee-jerk reactions to situations imply a deeper issue: frustration with the self, for starters. How often do we know that there's no reason to be depressed, or that our angry response to a situation was not the best solution. We are responsible for our own emotions, yet we are slave to them. We must tap into our our emotions and regain control, Meditate, Channel. Open up your emotional pathways so that you can see beyond the things that frustrate you. By clearing that mental canvas, we learn to distinguish between healthy, problem-solving thoughts and destructive ones. Afterall, thoughts are things that eventually become reality. You think negative, you draw more negativity. You think positive and eventually your woes become wows. Simply put, you must learn to channel your emotions if you ever desire to gain control of them as opposed to your emotions controlling you.

Simple Meditation for Overcoming Emotions

• Wherever you are, find a comfy sitting or lying position
• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for a bit
• Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing each part of your body
• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• Breathe in through your nose (if possible) and out through your mouth, making an "Ohhh"or "Ahhh"sound as you exhale. (DO NOT skip these steps. Breathing is EVERYTHING)
• Once your breathing is regulated, channel your attention towards your thoughts and feelings. Let them roam free for a while in your mind, 1 to 2 minutes.
• Are these thoughts mostly negative? Full of anxiety? Fear? Worry? Or mostly peaceful?
• Next, capture your thoughts and move them to the outer space of your mind. This is called Clearing Your Canvas. 
• Push all thoughts that try to enter your mind to the outer edges of your mental plane. Do not entertain these thoughts. Release them expeditiously.
• Try to focus on your clear canvas, that is, the pure space in the center of your mind, 
• Keeping calm and still, continue this exercise until your canvas is clear. 
• Next, choose a mantra  to focus on. One that you want to embody or bring into fruition. Some from my personal list are:
• I am patient and becoming more patient everyday.
• I give love. I receive love. I am love.
• No weapons formed against me shall prosper. (For heavy spiritual attacks)
• Everything is GOOD.
• Put your mantra in the center of your canvas and chant it quietly to yourself.
• Feel your mantra become a reality. Make it a reality in your mind.
• Chant for as long as you are able/comfortable, and then continue to speak your mantra in your mind (or aloud) throughout the day. 
• Write down your experience in your journal.

By repeating this meditation, you change your current way of thinking over TIME. You cause yourself to begin to believe your mantra so that it becomes your truth. You are now employing the magnificent law of attraction in a positive way. Remember:

Thoughts become ideas.

Ideas become beliefs.

Beliefs become actions.

Actions become behavior.

Behavior becomes habit,

Habit becomes practice.

Practice becomes Character.

Character determines Karma.

Peace be with you.

Wednesday Meditation

The Beginner's Mind Meditation
(Clear Your Canvas)

"By meditation upon light and upon radiance, 

knowledge of the spirit can be reached 

and peace can be achieved."

Patanjali, 300B.C.

• Change into loose, comfy clothing so that your sitting is not restricted in any way
• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
• Sit comfy on the ground, with your legs outstretched or crossed
• Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing each part of your body
• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• Breathe in through your nose (if possible) and out through your mouth, making an "Ohhh"or "Ahhh"sound as you exhale.
• Once your breathing is regulated, channel your attention towards your thoughts and feelings. Let them roam free for a while in your mind, 1 to 2 minutes.
• Next, capture your thoughts and move them to the outer space of your mind. This is called "Clear Your Canvas" meditation. 
• Expeditiously push all thoughts that race for the center of your mind to the outer edges, far left/far right,etc.
• Try to focus on your clear canvas, that is, the pure space in the center of your mind, entertaining no thoughts that try to invade that space.
• Keeping calm and still, continue this exercise for 2 to 5 minutes. 
• Once you reach your calm space, think of something positive you need manifested in your life, one word. Put that word in the center of your mind and think on it. Feel the positive energy emanate from the word into your being. Claim it. Draw it to yourself. Manifest it in your mind. Sit in this manifestation center for 2 to 5 minutes, or as long as your attention span will allow. 
• When you are done, give thanks to God, the Universe and the Ancestors and close out/seal your prayers with "Amen," "So shall it be,"  "Ase," or the equivalent.

Peace be unto you.

Finding Peace

To meditate is to experience the limitless ability of the mind when it is no longer dominated by our never-ending thoughts, desires, anxieties, fears & wonders. Like the beautiful clear blue sky hidden behind the clouds, if our minds are always clouded by thoughts and things, we never get to truly experience this limitless ability that's so divinely available to us. A clear and peaceful mind is what allows us to see through to and even beyond the bottom of the pool. It is here in this dim lit place where we are formally introduced to our "lower" selves; that part of our being that likes to drag us to the bottom instead of helping us remain afloat. Oh yes! The "Alter-Intro," as I call it, in which we find ourselves wrestling with that part of our psyche that likes to trip us up at times and causes one to question his/her own ability to make sound decisions in certain situations...not ALL... just certain ones. So much to be learned, retained and discarded out of our lives in this space. So much to sift through and ponder and comprehend, and comprehension is key. But at the center of everything...where day meets the night...nestled deep within the corridors of the mind rests tranquility.  It is ever-abundant if only we could make it there...to that place beyond the mountain of the 3 blind witches, beyond Medusa's deadly gaze...beyond, even, the wrestle with the devil at the mountain top. Yes,somewhere over the rainbow we find peace. Along the journey, however, some of us must grow gills & tails...some of us wings...others a second layer of skin in order to survive the elements. Whatever the case, SURVIVE. Do what you must do in this life to attain and maintain your peace, beloved. And when you find it, sit with it awhile...take hold of it and bring it back up to the surface with you. Enjoy.

Morning Meditation (Beginner's Mind)

True change and development is a process. Every single one of us possesses the ability within to evolve and transform, but the vast majority of humans within this matrix lack the wisdom that teaches us how to channel that ability in a manner that is life-producing. So much of what happens to us in this life is beyond our control, hence, we must exert our spiritual energy towards that which is within our control. Daily distractions are intricately woven into the fabric of our society. Like mindless sheep, everyone's running around following each other in and out of Door #1 ("predict the future") or Door #2 ("Undo the Past)", and both doors lead to stagnation. But here's the question I have to ask: How many times does one need to walk through the same door before realizing it's the WRONG door? Hmmmmm. (This tea is FIYAH, tho.)

I often feel like an alien in a strange land. I am surrounded by entities, beings, communities and relationships that are driven by expectation when the key to true peace is to have NO expectation. I hear your inner voice saying, "Well how does one do that???" The answer is so simple that it's complex to comprehend. I mean, who the heck knows what it's like to live a simple life anymore? How simple things could be for us in fabulous moments, such as the one I'm having as I write this, if we could just empty our minds. An empty mind simply does not crave to be filled with stuff, nor does it attach itself to frivolous things. Therefore, an empty mind is baggage free and open to receiving the crucial messages that God and the Universe are constantly trying to get through to us. Let's consider the word open. I love circles and spheres. As a jewelry designer many of my signature pieces have healing stones inside of circles to represent manifestation through openness, as well as continuity from one realm to the next. I wear lots of hoops and spheres on my physical temple as a reminder to be open to spirit...to be consistent, compassionate and open to accepting each new experience every day with a fresh set of eyes. An empty mind in Zen Philosophy is called Shoshin, or a beginner's mind. When we do something over and over again we can lose touch with the infinite meaning of a beginner's mind. When I begin a piece of jewelry with all of my tools and materials in arm's reach, my inspiration stems from the fact that the possibilities of what I could create are endless. When I sit down with a picture in my mind often times or an expectation, I tend to sabotage my own creative flow of being in that moment and allowing my spirit, which knows all things, to guide my hands. When I let go of the wheel, I allow my spirit to birth a creation that will attract the right client at the right time and at the right place, for example. The beginner's mind is sufficient within itself. It is nature's finest. When I read, I read with a new mind. When I observe a picture, I observe with a new mind. When I listen to a friend, I listen with a new mind. When I teach, I teach with a new mind. Where do you start? With me, right here...right NOW...

The Beginner's Mind Meditation
(Clear Your Canvas)

"By meditation upon light and upon radiance, 

knowledge of the spirit can be reached 

and peace can be achieved."

Patanjali, 300B.C.

• Change into loose,comfy clothing so that your sitting is not restricted in any way
• Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed
• Sit comfy on the ground, with your legs outstretched or crossed
• Close your eyes and concentrate on relaxing each part of your body
• Begin at the tips of your toes and envision the blood flowing throughout your body to the top of  your head, the Crown Chakra (Sanskrit) or your Ori (Yoruba).
• Once you are focused on your blood flow, tune in to your breathing pattern.
• Breathe in through your nose (if possible) and out through your mouth, making an "Ohhh"or "Ahhh"sound as you exhale.
• Once your breathing is regulated, channel your attention towards your thoughts and feelings. Let them roam free for a while in your mind, 1 to 2 minutes.
• Next, capture your thoughts and move them to the outer space of your mind. This is called "Clear Your Canvas" meditation. 
• Expeditiously push all thoughts that race for the center of your mind to the outer edges, far left/far right,etc.
• Try to focus on your clear canvas, that is, the pure space in the center of your mind, entertaining no thoughts that try to invade that space.
• Keeping calm and still, continue this exercise for 2 to 5 minutes. 
• Once you reach your calm space, begin to envision a circle. Look through the circle and around the circle. Write the words,"I must clear my mind to free my mind" inside of the circle. Focus and meditate on these words for as long as you feel led to. If the words try to fade or disappear, re-write them. Let nothing enter into your mind accept for this mantra.
• When you are done, give thanks to God, the Universe and the Ancestors and close out/seal your prayers with "Amen," "So shall it be,"  "Ase," or the equivalent.

Peace be unto you.

Paint Your Life

When you begin with a blank canvas, the possibilities are endless. Painting large murals reminds me of the vast potential of the mind. Your world is as big as the parameters you set for yourself and choose to live within. When my friend Lisa and I first began this mural, I remember looking at the top of the wall and feeling completely overwhelmed. I questioned my creative ability to see this project thru to it's completion. Isnt that how life is? We become so preoccupied with the end result of a thing that we lose sight of the invaluable, gravely underrated PROCESS...for it is indeed this process that actually makes us who we are. I remember reading an interview with Will Smith and hearing words that would change my way of thinking forever. I learned that we all desire to build a wall (success), our very own special wall. However, at the thought of what we might gain we become so overwhelmed and inundated with racing to the finish line that we neglect the fine details and fail to realize what it takes to actually build a perfect wall. Instead of focusing on the completed wall, I must focus on each individual brick that make up that wall...working hard each and every day to lay the best possible brick I can lay...taking pride and putting time into laying each brick, and being grateful for the opportunity. I fully embrace the work of every brick, each day as though it were the last. My motivation is that I know I will one day look up(or down) and realize that I have a perfect wall, and that I gained much wisdom in the process. I applied this wisdom to my creative projects, and ultimately my life. Each day my team and I set aside what we wanted to accomplish for that day and focused on nothing else. We worked hard...we laughed, we cried and I even experienced moments where I wanted to give up; some of our debacles seemed insurmountable...but we did it. 

 Each day...little by little over the course of an entire year...we put in the work...smelling the roses along the way..enjoying every new image that colored our wall. We sat in the glory of every triumph while eating sandwiches at break time, perusing our toil and totally amazed at what the mind can do when we set it free from fear and limitations. What a beautiful experience that added color and depth to my life. Through the slow, methodological, creative process of "building" a mural I learned how to live my life. The universe has its own way of teaching us all that we need to know when we are willing pupils. I am eternally grateful.

There is something quite sacred about that middle of the road too. Definitely something quite spiritual to be said about it. Just think. When you look ahead sometimes the road seems dauntingly uphill. Fear grips you, so you look back but you realize that you've come to far to foolishly entertain the thought of quitting. So, with your heart in one hand and your ego in the other, there you stand at the point of no return. By the time we had completed the entire pencil sketch, the thought of now bringing our mural to life through color seemed impossible. I was mentally drained! Soooooooo much work it would take! But a fresh idea (which I was full of, lol) to an Artist is like food for the soul...Chicken soup, infact...hearty and fortifying. So my inner Artist told me to stop and only focus on that which I set aside for myself each day. She told me to breathe and move forward and to take one day at a time. Henceforth, I wrote down my daily tasks as a daily "To Do" list and stuck to it.. I refused to let the BIG PICTURE overwhelm me. Breeeeathe in, Breeeeeeeathe out.

Just like this scaffold that lifted me up so that I could move forward, we must employ life's tools to propel us forward when we find ourselves stuck in a place. There was no way I could have finished this wall without the help of aids. Similarly, it is impossible for me to complete my daily tasks within my family and community without meditation, prayer and focused intention/work. I often wonder how people try to multitask life on their own...without spiritual tools that are available for our learning and growth. Its just not possible.

Oh, how wonderful the feeling of accomplishment!!! It is like food that fulfills even the deepest hunger. From the blank canvas where hope and intention was key, to the completed WALL which gave birth to feelings of gratitude and accomplishment, triumph and testimony and divine manifestation - I am grateful for every minute of my journey. I am grateful for life and her lessons. I embrace my Sankofa moments that allow me to fetch personal lessons of my past in order to move forward with power into my PRESENT and future. 

Happy Painting! <3